4 weeks left!

At the beginning I had hoped to lose 15-20% but at this point it seems to be a bit unrealistic. Right now my goal is to get under 250. At that last weigh in I don't want to have to move the bar to the 250 mark and add. I want to move it to the 200 mark and add. That is 12 lbs in the next 3 1/2 weeks.

This week I've been at a point in this contest where I'm feeling less than motivated. Yes, I get up at 4 am and work out and eat a ton better than I have. But I have definitely slacked on my eating. The other day I had taco bell. While I did count my calories, I never would have ate that the first few weeks. I would have sucked it up, got my husband some taco bell and came home and fixed myself a chicken breast and green beans. I know it is reality and I'm going to eat those things, but I feel like I'm slowly falling off the wagon. I have such a long way to go and I can't let myself fall. I need to pick myself up and figure out this slide and get back to it. I have decided these next 4 weeks I'm going to do the best I can. I don't want to look back and say that I wasted the last part of this wonderful opportunity. I know after the contest I will continue to fight this battle. It will just be a little different but right now I need to focus on these 4 weeks.
 Today, I rolled my ankle at our Saturday bootcamp. It hurt and a lot of my teammates, other team and Lori and Brandon helped me (Thank you all so much). However I had to sit on the floor,against my will, with ice on my ankle and watch my teammates as they busted their butt. It really sucked and I hated sitting there. I wanted to be up with the rest of my team busting my tail. While sitting their watching my team and the other team I did get a different perspective. I saw the agony in some peoples faces as they pushed past their aches and pains. I also saw someone not even breaking a sweat and not pushing anywhere near their half potential.(No offense to that person. I just know you can do it) At one point in this contest I was told that when you feel like you are at your edge and you can't do anymore YOU CAN and you have to push just a little further. There have been many days when my head is saying "Ashley that hurts and you can't do that." I have let that get the best of me some days and some days I have pushed past it and wowed myself. (In some part thanks to BJ being in my face saying come on Ashley) From the next workout on that voice is not going to get the best of me. I'm going to push it as hard as I can these next 4 weeks. I've got a brace for my ankle and it's not going to get the best of me. I'm stronger than this battle I'm fighting and I can't let it get the best of me.

Red Dawn is such a wonderful team. We have the best trainer that doesn't allow us to have excuses and an assistant who gets in our face if those excuses come to the surface. We also have 10 wonderful teammates who always know just when to say. "are you okay", "you can do it" or some other form of encouragement. I feel like I have been placed in the hands of the best possible team. Nothing against the other team, I just feel Red Dawn is the best fit for me and I am so grateful for the opportunity. I know that many of us are going to try to stick together after the contest and continue to fight this battle. Even those who choose to go at it a different way or we don't cross paths at the gym,I'm sure we will all find a way to keep up with each other.

After getting all my thoughts out in this blog (Sorry it is all over the place) I feel better. I feel like I have realized the blessing that has been placed in front of me. I am going to take full advantage of these last 4 weeks and give it all I have!
Ashley